It seems all that is harmful is exalted while good is belittled. Macho,
philandering movie characters have become heroes for males, while scantily-clad
pop-stars flying the flag of extreme secular feminism are icons for females. Do
these models not erode family life, being about competing rather than cooperating?
Raising a family today seems harder than ever. Many parents
–including Catholic parents– struggle to form their children well and be
vigilant over their development. Often, the 'pearls of wisdom' children get are
not words of wisdom but instructions for destruction. From a young age children
hear (at least I know I and my friends heard), "If someone hits you, hit
them back twice as hard” or “get them when they're alone"; they have
violent video games bought for them or are allowed to watch violence on TV; they
are dressed up to look like mini adults ready for a night on the town (with all
that goes with a night on the town: little girls wear make-up, short skirts; while
little boys model their dad's best 'pulling' gear). These cannot build a
peaceful, faithful society. We are teaching boys that being tough, hard,
competitive, and “No.1” is what makes a man, whereas it is competition in
cooperation, toughness of the mind and simple confidence rather than arrogance that
makes the man. We are teaching girls that equality with men is to be as
licentious and career minded as the ‘macho male’, thereby producing women who display
their physical sexuality rather than their femininity and who seek career
progression over spousal relationship and family life.
Teenagers are told, "Study hard so you can find employment
which pays well and provides a big house, good holidays and a top-of-the-range car"
–which teaches them that it is material gains that count (family life needs but
enough to get by comfortably but not the best of everything). Meanwhile, young
children and teenagers are surrounded by adults lamenting unmade millions or
taxes paid and who boast about alcohol fuelled exploits in humorous, exciting
terms.
We surround children and ourselves with so many false ideals which
are incongruent with a peaceful, stable world and contented lifestyle and then
ask why the streets aren't safe at night; why people feel unvalued in
relationships and why spouses and children are abandoned.
It seems to me that if we are to change the world for the better,
it must begin in individual families; it must begin with you and with me. Even
if we are single we must take our share of responsibility for shaping society;
we must become the kind of men and women we would like our children to become
and to meet. How are we to achieve this? As St. Thomas Aquinas would put it, we
must "Will it"; we must put our will into action and not just dream
of it or wish for it or pray for it. As the song goes, “Wishing, and hoping,
and thinking, and praying; planning and dreaming…” don’t do it; we have to put
our will into action. We must pray as though everything depended upon God, and
work as though it all depended upon us…
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